Aspergers | 2015 goals

Helloooo lovely people! 

How are you all? Hope all is fine and dandy :) It attempted to snow in Essex this morning, a very bad attempt though come on snow you can do better than that! 

I know we are half way through January but I thought it's not to late to write a post about the goals I have for 2015 to do with my aspergers. Since being diagnosed I have worked really hard on learning ways to cope and deal with the things that I find difficult and plan to do the same this year. So I thought I would let you guys know what my goals for this year are. You may have similar goals, or these may give you some ideas for things you may want to achieve this year.

Living with aspergers can be very difficult and it has presented me with a number of tricky challenges over the years, however with hard work and determination I seem to be improving lots and life is becoming easier and more enjoyable and I'm so much happier for it. There have been a lot of times throughout my time in this world so far (it's a very confusing world) where I have been very down and low but I just want to reassure you all that things do get better, there are people who experience the same difficulties as you and there are people to talk to. I really hope some of my posts will be able to help some people, and if you ever want someone to talk to you can always pop me an email I'd be happy to chat my email address is on my page :) 

So here are my goals for 2015:

Become more independent. This is a big thing more, something I have really struggled with too. I have got a lot more independent especially over the last year, I think my part time job at the pub has helped with this as I can't take my mum or dog to work and a lovely lady has helped me become more independent last year by letting me help her with all her horses. I don't like being away from home, and especially being away from my mum I've always been very clingy and reliant on my mum from an early age, I think that's because she's always been there and accepted me for who I am. However my mum can't do everything with me and go everywhere with me as much as I may want her to so I would really like to improve my independence this year so I can learn that I don't need to rely on her and others and that I can stand on my own two feet. The outside world is very different from my home world. Barney has also helped huge amounts, well to be honest he has made the world of difference to my independence and continues to. I take him everywhere I can, having him there just makes everything okay he is like my safety net. Hopefully this year I would like to be able to go into the town where I live by myself and look around the shops or take Barney for walks by myself and work more on being able to be left at home alone for short periods of time (this makes me very anxious). All these things are definitely ways in which I should be able to become more independent and work on this year. There are other things as well but if I write them all down I might as well start a book. How do you guys cope with being independent? 

Think Positive. This is something I'm always telling myself to do. I think that it's such an important thing to do as well as you feel so much better when you think positively about things. Its very easy to fall in to the trap of focusing on the things that aren't going well believe me. However when you start to think positively I feel I feel 100x better and much happier in general so this is something I want to continue to do this year and work hard at making sure I have more positive thoughts. Positivity is the way forward. 

Grow my confidence and self confidence. This is something I really want to work hard on this year. My confidence has come on leaps and bounds over the last year. About a year ago I didn't even want to leave the house I was so nervous, now I have a part time job in a pub which I love and am even drove all the way up to Yorkshire. Working in the pub has brought my confidence on so much, I'm so fortunate to work in such a lovely environment with lovely people it really has helped so hopefully working there this year will continue to grow my confidence. Barney also helps my confidence, I feel safe and secure whenever he is with me, and he has helped me go to a lot of places with me. Fingers crossed my confidence will grow.  Self confidence is something I need to work on a lot this year I really struggle with this as I can imagine many girls of my age do (I'm 19). I'm actually on medication for my to help with my aspergers as when my emotions go all over the place I don't know how to act so I tend to get rather angry and depressed and my medication has helped me to learn to control my emotions and moods. However they also make you put on a lot of weight which has affected my self confidence. I love exercise and keeping fit so by monitoring my food and exercising a lot I've managed to lose a bit but will never be able to be the size I used to be so I'm going to try really hard this year to love the body I have now. It's not all about being super thin, being happy is the most important thing and that's something I'm always trying to remind myself. I'd also like to work more on being proud of who I am and not worrying what others think, and that not everybody is looking at me when I go out (get very anxious about this) so hopefully this will all improve this year. 

Reduce swearing and rude language. This is something that I really need to work on this year! Although I have conquered a lot of my anger and how I react when I'm angry I have a big tendency to swear for England when I'm frustrated or angry now. My poor family take most of it and they are very good about it as they know I don't really mean what I'm saying, my silly emotions taking over hey! However I'm determined this year to crack down on it, mainly for them but also for me. I have habit of sending rude texts when I'm angry or upset to so I need to improve on reducing them this year to. I think this is going to be one of my hardest goals this year as when my emotions go all over the place I do lose control of what I'm saying and doing so don't realise I'm doing it but I think its something I may be able to work on. Do you guys have any ideas how I could stop this? Do you have any words you use instead? 

 Meet new people. Having aspergers means that social skills aren't really my thing. I'd like to improve them if I can this year and meet new people. I really struggle with making friendships and maintaining them which has made me feel rather lonely. Obviously my best friend is Barney and he's always there, another reason why I got him. He loves me for me and it's great. I'm certain most people with aspergers are in the same boat as me. It's tough making friends, but hopefully with my independence and confidence improving this will just fall into place. I also wanted to start blogging in the hope that I would meet new people as talking to people via blogs etc is much easier than talking face to face with people, something that I'm not a big fan of. Do you guys have any tips with how you have dealt with this? 

So there you have it there are my 2015 goals for my aspergers :)
What goals do you have?

And as always a picture of Barney because he is the best :) The last picture is of Barney and Katie our other dog having fun on a walk yesterday, always puts a smile on my face when I see these two racing each other and having fun:) 

Hope you are all well and Jolly :) 

Anna-Louise 

xx

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Aspergers | update on 1st achievement of 2015

Helloooo :)

Just thought I would give you an update on my achievement. As you all know I made it up to Yorkshire all by myself.....well good news I also made it back to Essex in one piece and all by myself! Well Barney was with me of course but he's a dog so he doesn't actually talk, otherwise me and Barney would be millionaires by now living on an exotic island called Anbar. Barney slept the whole way back today but I think it's because he was completely knackered after his walk round the Yorkshire showground with Ted and Jessie the puppy. 

Jessie the puppy on the left and Ted on the right

I arrived home with a big smile on my face today as there is no better feeling than completing one of your biggest challenges. There were even less phone calls today but I think that's because everyone was working other than my Gran. I was lucky enough to have lovely weather for the journey home and I always think the Sun instantly puts everyone in a better mood. 

Whats your favourite type of weather? 

I did think I had a flat tyre again at one point and had a slight panic but then I realised it was just the road surface that had changed. Also the A1 is a long old road, a very long road, it felt like a never ending road so lots of singing took place again. 

I ended up staying at my aunts whilst I was in Yorkshire. She lives in Harrogate which if you haven't been is a lovely town, if your ever visiting Yorkshire and your nearby definitely pay it a visit. Whilst I was there I went in to Harrogate for some lunch with my aunt. We went to this lovely tea shop called Jakes which sold the biggest cakes and meringues you have ever seen in your life, so big that they could probably eat you. Not that food can eat people that would be a strange world if it could, would be a bit like the film Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs. We had a lovely goats cheese and beetroot ciabatta  sandwhich with rocket and tomato salad and vegetable crisps. It was delicious! Vegetable crisps seem to becoming more popular, they are very yummy. 

Have any of you tried Vegetable crisps? What did you think? 

Yummy sandwhich

Charlotte came over for dinner last night and we went to the Yorkshire Meatball co for dinner. Which was delicious. However as we where eating it started to snow. I had a little panic (I worry and panic a lot) as I was worried about how Charlotte would get home, and I was worried that I wouldn't get home the next day. When I get something in my head that is happening it has to happen otherwise I just can't seem to cope. Things have to go to plan but again that's my Aspergers brain for you. Charlotte got home safe and sound and as I was going to bed it started to snow heavier so mum got a few panicked texts. When I woke up the road was covered in snow, but turns out it was just a light covering and the main roads where fine so panic over! After a lovely snowy walk around the showground again this morning with the dogs Barney and I set off on our journey home. My aunts road was still snowy and had turned icy and I was very worried about driving on it so my aunt very kindly came in the car with me till I got safely to the main roads and then she walked back. Thanks Auntie Sarah! Despite this I then had a lovely journey home and am tucked up in bed. A big tick next to this achievement! I did it and survived and its the best feeling. Don't give up on any achievements you want to do you will get there :) Remember anything is possible when you put your mind to it and also never forget to smile, smiling makes everything better :) 

 Yorkshire Showground this morning 

Did any of you have any snow? Have any of you got any plans on something you want to achieve this year? Have you guys done anything exciting today? 

Barney had fun in the snow this morning, at one point he got all confident and ran down a hill in the snow, but ended up sliding down it on his bum! He was very confused bless him! He has never seen snow before! 

Barney in the snow

Hope you are all well and jolly! 

Anna-Louise

xox

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