Aspergers // mindless ramblings

Hellooo there :) 

Hope all is well with you all! How are you today? It's chilly where I am today just can't seem to get myself warm, think I might go and make a hot chocolate or tea in a minute and snuggle up in bed! What is your perfect lazy day? 

I'm lacking a bit of motivation this week, not been feeling myself been feeling rather down. That's aspergers and my mind for you though. The previous posts that I have written about aspergers have all been positives and about the achievements I have made regarding my aspergers. However today's post is going to be slightly different, it's going to be more about when things are more of a struggle. My mood can alter a lot like this I can be super happy and on cloud 9 for weeks then I can be down about everything for weeks. Does anyone else get like this?! I'm hoping some of you will be able to relate to this whether you have aspergers or not or whether you have an mental illness, anxiety, or you just might enjoy reading it. 

One of the things with aspergers is that people don't like change! Let me tell you now I hate change I just can't cope when things change or understand why they change if I'm happy with something why can't it just stay as it is?! Think back to the Big Bang Theory and Sheldon, and think about how he acts for example when they buy a table for them all to sit at to eat instead of on the sofa and Sheldon doesn't cope why did they need to change what he believes to be fine just the way it is. Well that's how I feel when things change. There have been a few changes going on at the moment in my life and I think that's one of the reasons why my mood has been brought right down. Now to some of you these changes will be minor and you'll be like why are you getting worked up about that but with aspergers any change is a change no matter how small or big it is. 

One of the changes is that my Mum has gone back to work, now my mum gave up work a couple of years ago to care for me when I was going through a really rough patch and since I have improved enormous amounts she has gone and got a job again, which is a big change as I have gone from having mum there all the time for me to call and ring and talk to etc to not having her there half as much. She only works one full day and two half days but for me that is a long time for her not to be around and at the moment I'm really struggling with that. I know that in time once I'm used to it all I will be much happier but at the moment it is a struggle and a change that is making me feel blurgh.

Another change is that one of the people who I work with is leaving. She is one of my favourite people to work with and we call ourselves the Friday night entertainment team! We have such a laugh! I'm incredibly happy for her that she will be able to get her weekend's back and for the first time in a long while will be only working one job and let me tell you she is one of the nicest people I have met and she deserves a bit more time for herself. As much as I am going to miss her, I'm so grateful for how supportive she has been to me and how she has helped me improve my confidence. 

My brother is also going around looking at universities and having interviews as he will be off to Uni in September. It's going to be so weird without him around all the time as annoying as he can be. There are other changes going on but don't want to bore you with my life too much!!

Now I'm gonna be honest I haven't really got much else to say today it's just one of those days when I'm not feeling myself! Sometimes I think it would be easier to have a normal mind but then I remember it's boring and I wouldn't have my funny bubbly self that will say whatever! Have been taking a lot of pictures this week for some blog posts so watch this space I have a couple of funny ones coming up, well I find them funny anyway.

It snowed here this afternoon finally! Only a little bit but enough for a covering, please can we have a bit more snow!!  Have any of you had lots of snow? What have you guys been up too or how have you been feeling this week would love to know :) pop me an email if you don't want to post a comment but want a chat, go to my contact page at the top of my blog for my email address!

My Love Tanya book came today, it looks amazing I'm so excited to read it and it looks like it has some really useful tips in it :) Think Tanya has done amazing to write a book like this! Well done Tanya! I love Tanya's video's they have really helped me when I've been feeling down and on being more positive and happy with life! Thank you Tanya. If you haven't checked out her videos already you should because they are great :)  Tanya Burr's channel

Barney has enjoyed playing in the snow with my dad this afternoon and had a snow ball fight with him! He didn't throw the balls obviously my dad did and he caught them! Imagine if he was clever enough to throw things, I'd be a millionaire!

Hope all is well and jolly with you lot!

Anna-Louise
xx

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Aspergers | 2nd achievement of 2015

Helloooo everyone 

How is everybody today? I'm rather tired if I'm honest, tried to watch Finding Nemo today because well you have to don't you it's a Disney classic! Well for my era it is anyway, was incredibly popular when I was younger. I think they are bringing out a new Finding Nemo Or Dory soon, do you guys know anything about that? Anyway back to my point I fell asleep through the whole of it, silly me so am going to try and re watch when I'm awake in the next week. I hope none of you are feeling to tired today, hopefully you are happy buzzing bees :)

Tiredness is something I really suffer with, I'm not lazy please don't think that! I had M.E in my last year of secondary school and sixth form and although I've recovered from the worst of I still suffer with tiredness a lot.  I can sleep for England and anywhere, I fell asleep at the Olympics who does that right?! Also if I ever try and do to much I will start to flake and need almost a quiet week to recover, good job I don't work full time hey! Anyway I'm rambling and going off topic about what this blog is about as usual, just letting you guys know a bit more about me I guess and well I'm open and want people to read this feel like they know me and that we are friends and friends talk and share about things that are on their mind right? Let me know if I'm wrong, social things aren't my thing. 

I'm currently listening to Ellie Goulding's new song Love Me Like You Do. I'm in love with it already, now I'm a bit of an Ellie Goulding fan already but her new one is just amazing go check it out :) She has made this one for the new film Fifty Shades of Grey that is coming out soon, will be interesting to see how they have done this film without making it too saucy, as well the books, need I really say more about them! 

What song are you guys liking at the moment? 

Right better get started to what this blog is actually about hey! So today I achieved my 2nd aspergers achievement of the year. If you have read my previous blogs you will know I have aspergers, if your new firstly hello, and  secondly I have aspergers so now you know! I always want to put haha after certain sentences, but then I'm laughing at myself and what I'm saying (I do that a lot apparently people don't tend to do that) doesn't bother me though I love laughing who doesn't?! Just you guys might not always see the funny side that I'm seeing. 

Social situations have always been one of my major difficulties and struggles I really don't like them if I'm honest. However over this last year I've been working incredibly hard on my confidence and coping with social situations. Working in a pub has really helped me come out of my shell, not that I actually have a shell but you know what I mean, it's helped me enormous amounts with talking to people. The thing about working in a pub is that there is almost like an invisible script of things you say to people so if conversation isn't following revert to your script, you also have to take their order and things like that so you kinda have to talk to people. This is great for building confidence not only if you have aspergers but also if you struggle with your confidence or have anxiety etc. 

My mum and her friends have set up a Book club, some of you may be reading this thinking okay then, but I personally think book clubs are one of the best inventions ever. They are probably not for you if your not a fan of reading, well even if your not they you could always go along to one to listen and meet new people and socialise in a relaxing, un-pressureised environment. Anyway I don't really have that many friends, I'm not ashamed to admit that. I struggle to keep friends and maintain friendships that's a bit of aspergers for you though isn't it. Don't get me wrong I have a couple of great friends who I have had for years, all of which are older than me, I find it easier to socialise with people who are older than me. What about you guys? My socialising is working at the pub and going up to the stables. Exciting life hey, I love it anyway. I would like to have more people and friends to sociliase with if I'm completely honest but I have Barney to talk to everyday! What more do I need?! 

Anyway I thought that the book club sounded interesting, I love to read so thought why not go along and see what it's like get to meet new people too. A year ago I would not have even considered this going to a club and chatting with a load of strangers in an unfamiliar environment don't think so. However the new more confident me was like yeah why not. So off I went, I thought I would feel nervous but I didn't I was a little unsure to begin with but it was great I really enjoyed it, I even wait for it joined in conversation with people I have never met before. I was the youngest person at the book club but that didn't bother me it made it easier as these people where easy to talk to and have some interesting things to say :) I really enjoyed myself and am looking forward to the next one. I've got the job of making the cake for the next meet up :) 

I would highly recommend joining something like a book club if you struggle with confidence or just want to get out and socialiase in a quiet environment where no one cares who you are and excepts you for the person you are. I felt very welcome which gave me the ability to speak great hey! So that's my achievement going and doing something different that I usually would hate and enjoying it! Some of you may be thinking big deal so what but for me this is a big thing and I'm proud of myself and wanted to share it with everybody! Things like this should definitely be celebrated! Little things that count hey!  

The book we have to read this month is called The Curvy Girls Club! Looks like a bit of a laugh and a light hearted read, I'll let you all know how I get on with it :)

I really hope these help people in someone, I want people to realise it's okay to be different, being different should be celebrated!  

Barney's got a bit of a sore eye at the moment silly thing! Not sure what he has done to it so I'm going to keep an eye on it for a bit. Barney says hello to everyone, he is sulking at the moment as I'm sitting on my sofa which he has claimed, he doesn't like to share so has gone downstairs to find his own spot. 

Me and my best friend Barney! Picture quality may not be great but I just love this photo and wanted to share it with all of you :)

Hope you are all well and jolly 

Anna-Louise

xx

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